Next task: rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic

I saw a guy walking by the side of the road today picking up trash with one of those pointy sticks.

Normally, this would be a useful task. People litter. Litter has aesthetic as well as environmental consequences. Ergo, someone has to pick up the litter. Even I can figure that out.

But there's a slight problem with trying to do this task today; namely it is windier than the collective backsides of an entire mining crew at a chili-eating contest.

So here this guy is, dutifully picking up trash from the grass alongside the road, while loose plant matter, paper products, small poodles sent outside for wee-wee time at the same moment that Mother Nature planned whoosh-whoosh time, and sorts of other stuff are blowing about all around him.

What is the point of this? Not only is the ground he's cleaning being uncleaned right behind him, but the stuff he's picking up now be gone by tomorrow if he just leaves it on the ground.

And now for something completely different ...

Jim Cramer (of Mad Money fame) just made perhaps his single most unique market observation. While being interviewed on CNBC about the merits of various retailers, he said of one one: "People go to Kohl's to buy their fat pants."

The woman interviewing him almost didn't recover. You could see at least four things running through her mind:

1. I can't believe he said that,
2. I wan't to laugh but I shouldn't,
3. I really can't believe he just said that, and
4. wait a minute ... I shop at Kohl's!

As she was regaining her composure, she mentioned, "I'm glad I'm wearing waterproof mascara."