On Faith, Science, and Self-Propelled Meat Sacks

This was my recent contribution to a discussion on science and faith.

Those who champion the notion that "pure science" is the source of all knowledge lump religion into the realm of the supernatural. The supernatural, they argue, is by definition outside the realm of what science can even attempt to explain, science being limited to the "natural" universe as it is.

This desire to explain all natural phenomena in terms of natural causes and effects is religion-neutral (that is, neutral to religion as a concept). To say science has no capacity to either confirm or deny the characteristics, capacity, or even existence of supernatural phenomena is understandable and also religion-neutral. To state that there is no physical evidence to support a particular claim of supernatural interaction with the natural world – or to state that there is evidence to dispute such a particular claim – is religion-neutral and within the defined realm of scientific study. We know, for example, that the Earth is not resting atop giant elephants that are standing on giant turtles.

But the science true believers overlook an incredibly important logical fallacy. They make a leap of faith that essentially states that since some claims of supernatural interaction with the physical world can be disproved, all such claims must be false. Apollo is not carrying the sun across the sky in his chariot, therefore Catholicism is invalid.

Faith is the holding as true something that can neither be proved nor disproved. To claim that anything outside the realm of "science" can not exist is nothing more than a statement of faith. Atheism is a religion of its own.

Personally, I think there is a dual nature to man. There is a physical existence, but there is also something that is not quite physical. For convenience, we shall call that a soul. I believe there is interaction between the soul and the physical body, but the soul is something separate. I won’t go into my own faith beyond that; I won’t try to explain how that interaction occurs or what greater meaning this may imply. I just included that tidbit to posit the notion that perhaps there is something within us that can indicate the existence of something “supernatural”. The way I see it, my body is my body, but my soul is “me”.

Then again, maybe I am wrong. The phenomenon that is my consciousness may simply be a byproduct of the electrical fields generated in the central processing unit of a self-propelled meat sack. I don’t think we’ll really know until we know … or we don’t – depending on which side is correct. My point is that even self-identity is a matter of faith.

Incidentally, I do hope my view on duality is correct. I’d hate to think that all this time I’ve been a figment of my own imagination.

Next task: rearranging deck chairs on the Titanic

I saw a guy walking by the side of the road today picking up trash with one of those pointy sticks.

Normally, this would be a useful task. People litter. Litter has aesthetic as well as environmental consequences. Ergo, someone has to pick up the litter. Even I can figure that out.

But there's a slight problem with trying to do this task today; namely it is windier than the collective backsides of an entire mining crew at a chili-eating contest.

So here this guy is, dutifully picking up trash from the grass alongside the road, while loose plant matter, paper products, small poodles sent outside for wee-wee time at the same moment that Mother Nature planned whoosh-whoosh time, and sorts of other stuff are blowing about all around him.

What is the point of this? Not only is the ground he's cleaning being uncleaned right behind him, but the stuff he's picking up now be gone by tomorrow if he just leaves it on the ground.

And now for something completely different ...

Jim Cramer (of Mad Money fame) just made perhaps his single most unique market observation. While being interviewed on CNBC about the merits of various retailers, he said of one one: "People go to Kohl's to buy their fat pants."

The woman interviewing him almost didn't recover. You could see at least four things running through her mind:

1. I can't believe he said that,
2. I wan't to laugh but I shouldn't,
3. I really can't believe he just said that, and
4. wait a minute ... I shop at Kohl's!

As she was regaining her composure, she mentioned, "I'm glad I'm wearing waterproof mascara."

Websites on which you don't want to appear

I am watching "Talkshow With Spike Feresten" because, well, the remote is really far away, and right after the bit where they gave a 99-year-old woman a set of tramp stamps (aka the "license plate" tattoos in the center of the back just above the waistline), Spike discussed an issue plaguing bad-haired, bad-skinned, oft-bespectacled aging male has-been or wanna-be celebrities everywhere.

You see, gone are the days of any-pub-is-good-pub. Nowadays the Internet opens up "pub" opportunities that can be unflattering to the point of painfulness. Outer-tier celebrities such as former Saturday Night Live star Dana Carvey, Spike Feresten, the loud half of Penn and Teller Penn Gilette, sodomite satirist Oscar Wilde, seventeenth-century English philosopher John Locke, Senator-elect-ish Al Franken, and alleged best friend of and political mastermind behind President Obama William Ayers have all been the subjects of this very type of Internet attack.

Yes, they have all been featured on MenWhoLookLikeOldLesbians.com, a website dedicated to exposing men who look like old lesbians.

Interestingly enough, three guys on the site (Spike, Dana, and Penn) were all on the show this night. So they did what any group of guys facing the public scorn of looking like aging homosexual women would do ... they sang a song about it.

Let's face it; nothing restores one's masculinity more than breaking into a musical number.

Outtakes from the Guff'ner's interview

You may have already seen the Sarah Palin Turkey Shoot - the Q&A session that was held at the turkey farm where the Guff'ner pardoned a turkey in standard White House fashion. Long story short, after the ceremony, the farm workers resumed their normal activities while the Guff'ner continued to answer questions for the press. As a result, Sarah winds up on YouTube casually talking about politics while a worker procedes to slaughter and drain birds behind her.

Intellectual heavyweights such as Slate's Bill Smee criticized the Guff'ner for this. It would be nice and easy to dismiss him as an idiot, but he produced this wonderful video that is too good to not share. So I'll show the vid, then point out his idiocy.

Outtakes from the Guff'ner's Turkey Shoot interview

OK, now that we've had our fun, let's get down to reality.

The Guff'ner is granting an interview. She is facing the camera. It is quite unlikely that she picked that spot when the, ahem, machinery in the background was actually in use. She does not have the standard-issue international-celebrity entourage that some politicians carry around with them, so there is no over-excited under-employed film major hanging around framing spots. The press starts asking questions, she answers.

If you look verrrrry carefully, you will notice that the Guff'ner is facing the camera. At no time does she turn her head towards the worker behind her. The camera, on the other hand, is facing the Guff'ner and the worker.

Of all the people involved, those that know that a bespectacled and besweatered worker is sticking turkeys into a chipper-shredded are a) the worker, b) the camera operator, and c) the interviewer. The turkey-mauler is just doing his job; he does not appear to be involved in media relations. So when you get down to it, the only people that are sufficiently qualified to determine that the Guff'ner is in an awkward situation and aware of the same are the people conducting the interview.

Usually camera operators look into the camera to see what they are filming. It helps to ensure that some of the minor details -- like whether the camera is pointing at the subject, is upright, is in focus, and is actually recording -- are not missed. In fact, camera operators have been known to alert their subjects when there is a problem with the shot. In this case, it's obvious no such warning was issued.

You could try to posit that the camera operator wasn't paying attention to the actions behind the Guff'ner, but there is one small problem ...the camera operator has moved the camera so that the Guff'ner is not the center of the image. She is standing to the left of the focal point. The camera was moved for the purpose of getting the turkey-shredder into the shot.

This was not the act of a rogue ex-vice presidential candidate, this was the act of a rogue cameraperson.

Mr. Smee, if you happen to come across my blog while Googling yourself late at night, please note that there is a significant difference between being caught doing something stupid and being set-up so it appears that you are doing something stupid. While the Guff'ner has had her stupid moments, this is clearly not on her.

Oh, and the fact that you didn't realize this was a set-up doesn't speak highly to your qualifications.

The Funky Fresh Senior Choir

Putting your multiple personalities to good use

Politricks

I finally figured it out.

I finally discovered, after all this time, the fundamental difference between the two major-party campaigns ... and it only took two years!

Each candidate has come out and stated what he would do with taxes, health care policy, foreign policy, and so on. But both candidates have also come out with cheap shots and bold-faced lies about their opponents. Both have also lied about themselves.

In short, this "most historic election of all time" has been pretty much politics as usual.

But there is a huge difference between the candidates that only becomes evident when you realize what all of this campaigning has really been about. Each man is asking every one of us to go into a little curtained-off makeshift closet and pull his lever.

This is nothing new ... men young and old have been asking for this throughout history. And men have often come up with grandiose plans to get people to pull their levers, often talking a big game or being less-than-truthful in the process.

(Yes, I know I took this in an inappropriate direction, but bear with me.)

Let's be honest, when the campaigning is over and the realities of Washington set in, whichever one of these clowns gets elected today is going to wind up screwing you. If you take a moment to embrace the nature of this particular metaphor - immature as it may be - you realize something profound. By voting for either one, you are doing something for them that helps them far more than it will help you. And when it's all over, you won't feel respected the way you thought you might.

The big difference between these campaigns is Obama has been able to say just the right things (or the wrong things in just the right way ... wink, wink, nudge, nudge) to make the average voter feel excited about getting a chance to run behind a curtain and pull his lever. At the same time, McCain has taken a far less sexy approach that has reminded too many voters of why their mothers told them not to talk to strangers. At this point in the campaign, to the average voter he seems smarmier, more desperate. Almost creepy.

After all this time, all these ads, all these interviews, world tours, SNL appearances, debates ... after all that, it comes down to perception. And so today we go to the polls to decide which come-on line got us best.

Today it's "Yes, I can respect you in the morning" versus "hey, kids, I've got some tax breaks for you in the back of my van."

R-E-S-P-yadda yadda yadda

Nothing irks adults more than when children give them the respect they deserve.

Palin Representin' da' A-K-49. Woot-woot!

What do ya' know ... Saturday Night Live is funny again.

Many props to the Guff'ner for this one.

Strange Days

October 14, 2008, goes down as a unique one for me.

For the first time in my life, my circle of acquaintances had a birth and a death on the exact same day.

I got both pieces of news when I got to work this morning. Festive decorations on a cubicle, heartfelt sorrow in an email. The Alpha and the Omega all at once.

Both families are in my prayers, albeit very different prayers for each.